Comments on: Why Do Feelings Matter to Kids…When Dr. Laura says it Doesn’t Matter How You Feel? http://theparentingdoctor.com/why-do-feelings-matter-to-kidswhen-dr-laura-says-it-doesnt-matter-how-you-feel/ Dr. Ann Corwin's Place For Parents Thu, 15 Oct 2009 21:55:41 -0400 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.1 hourly 1 By: Dr. Ann http://theparentingdoctor.com/why-do-feelings-matter-to-kidswhen-dr-laura-says-it-doesnt-matter-how-you-feel/comment-page-1/#comment-47 Dr. Ann Thu, 02 Oct 2008 21:06:02 +0000 http://theparentingdoctor.com/why-do-feelings-matter-to-kidswhen-dr-laura-says-it-doesnt-matter-how-you-feel/#comment-47 Thanks for your comments. Feelings are complicated and confusing. Just because everyone has feelings, doesn't mean they understand them or how to react to them. Sometimes I think parents don't deliberately teach their kids to suppress their feelings, but instead parents don't know how to teach their kids about the way they feel. For example, when kids get 'mad' parents want to stop their kid's behavior so they just tell their kids to "Knock it off". Or they say, "That is no reason to get so mad or don't be mad". When kids hear that they think their parent is telling them that their feelings aren't real. On top of that, the child never learns what to do the next time they have that same feeling. So, all kids learn is that it is their responsiblity to get rid of their feelings and never learn how to act when they feel. Per your requests, in the next few days I will post "kid speak", as Dory puts it, solutions to help parents explain feelings to their kids. Keep these comments coming, so we can work together to spread the words about how to teach emotional education. Dr. Ann Thanks for your comments. Feelings are complicated and confusing. Just because everyone has feelings, doesn’t mean they understand them or how to react to them.
Sometimes I think parents don’t deliberately teach their kids to suppress their feelings, but instead parents don’t know how to teach their kids about the way they feel.
For example, when kids get ‘mad’ parents want to stop their kid’s behavior so they just tell their kids to “Knock it off”. Or they say, “That is no reason to get so mad or don’t be mad”.
When kids hear that they think their parent is telling them that their feelings aren’t real. On top of that, the child never learns what to do the next time they have that same feeling.
So, all kids learn is that it is their responsiblity to get rid of their feelings and never learn how to act when they feel.
Per your requests, in the next few days I will post “kid speak”, as Dory puts it, solutions to help parents explain feelings to their kids.
Keep these comments coming, so we can work together to spread the words about how to teach emotional education. Dr. Ann

]]> By: Dory Favero http://theparentingdoctor.com/why-do-feelings-matter-to-kidswhen-dr-laura-says-it-doesnt-matter-how-you-feel/comment-page-1/#comment-46 Dory Favero Sat, 27 Sep 2008 22:01:14 +0000 http://theparentingdoctor.com/why-do-feelings-matter-to-kidswhen-dr-laura-says-it-doesnt-matter-how-you-feel/#comment-46 Dear Dr. Ann, I feel confident describing several of the feelings on the list but there are a few that I am not sure how to explain in "kid speak". They are: shame, envy, guilt, embarrassed, brave, confident and insecure. Can you give me a little direction? Thanks. Dory Dear Dr. Ann,

I feel confident describing several of the feelings on the list but there are a few that I am not sure how to explain in “kid speak”. They are: shame, envy, guilt, embarrassed, brave, confident and insecure. Can you give me a little direction? Thanks. Dory

]]> By: eleroux http://theparentingdoctor.com/why-do-feelings-matter-to-kidswhen-dr-laura-says-it-doesnt-matter-how-you-feel/comment-page-1/#comment-45 eleroux Fri, 26 Sep 2008 20:11:18 +0000 http://theparentingdoctor.com/why-do-feelings-matter-to-kidswhen-dr-laura-says-it-doesnt-matter-how-you-feel/#comment-45 Hi Dr Ann, How do I get to see your blog site? Thank you for this email on feelings, it is exactly what I am going through with my 2yr old son - trying to get him to understand his feelings, which is so tough for me, since we were "taught" to suppress feelings as kids growing up in South Africa. Hi Dr Ann,

How do I get to see your blog site? Thank you for this email on feelings, it is exactly what I am going through with my 2yr old son – trying to get him to understand his feelings, which is so tough for me, since we were “taught” to suppress feelings as kids growing up in South Africa.

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