Hi Dr Ann
I live in Cape Town, South Africa. Would like to know just how important routine is? I am a first time mom to a beautiful  7 month little girl. I had to go back to work quite early when she was 2 months old.

My mother in law looks after her in the day when I am at work, she doesn’t believe in routine. Because my daughter is the first grandchild, she’s been spoilt.

I find it difficult to speak to her about this matter as she’s also raised 4 grown men and I am only raising one baby.

My baby also doesn’t sleep in the day. Sleeping for her is a big issue. She doesn’t sleep well at night either. What can I do?
Chantall Cumming
Cape Town, South Africa

Chantall,
Thanks for the thoughtful question. The best way I have found to politely tell someone you’d like them to care for your child in a different way is to always start by asking that person and in this case, it is your mother-in-law, if they will do you a favor.

Usually whenever someone is asked for a favor, they say “sure, what”?  Then you say, “I know what a wonderful job you have done raising your boys and I admire that.  But, what I would like to do in raising my little girl is to ‘learn from my own mistakes’.

So even if it doesn’t make sense to you or you have found a better way on your own, could you please allow me to try my way, in this case a routine, with my little girl?

Secondly, a 7 month old needs sleep during the day and night, because literally the whole time she is awake her brain is on fire learning about her world, so the only time she gets a ‘break’, so to speak, is when she sleeps. 

I am a firm believer of ‘objects’ to help kids sleep.  Your little girl needs to know that when she is away from the ones she loves, she will be OK and that is what finger, pacifiers, thumbs and blankets do for kids.

It is no different than you having a picture of someone you love in your house or at your desk at work and everytime you look at it, you remember the loving relationship you have with that person.  Sleep means she is away from everyone, so if she has her familiar ‘lovey’ then it helps her sleep.

Probably the reason she is not sleeping at night is because she is ‘overtired’ with no sleep during the day.  Hope that helps.
Good luck and keep in touch,
Dr. Ann