Decided to check in on the Super Nanny show for this season after watching and commenting all last season. I wanted to see if this year’s prime time show was educating parents in accurate and helpful information. Much to my disappointment the show has not changed one single bit!
Supper Nanny starts out by labeling the young 4-year old boy, Zack, by saying, “He rules the roost in this family”. She goes on to say, “Zack is the center of attention and behaves aggressively to get what he wants”! This implies of course that the 4 year old deliberately wants to control their family. Or he is the problem in the family and if he will just change then their family problems will disappear.
The reality is 4 year olds don’t deliberately act aggressively to control their parents! Kids at this age do want attention and will take it anyway they can get it in order to understand how they are supposed to behave. Because the way parents respond to their child’s behavior teaches the child what behaviors to continue to do over and over again. If a child feels out of control, they will act out of control and if the parent continues to get in their face when they are out of control that is why the child continues to do that particular behavior.
The Super Nanny offers the same ‘ole solution she did last season, the ‘naughty spot’ (time-out). Super Nanny advocates giving the child a warning, putting them in the ‘spot’ while explaining ‘why’ the child is there by getting in their face and eventually saying they are sorry.
Zack’s mom tells the Super Nanny with all sincerity that; “It breaks my heart when my Zack cries”. The Super Nanny responds by saying, “Zack wants to smother you”! Which couldn’t be further from the truth. Kids want and need to feel close to their parents physically and emotionally. Mothers and fathers feel a very real connection with their kids so when their kids hurt, the parents hurt! So, I wish the Super Nanny would learn to stop minimizing the needs of parents and their healthy reactions to their kid’s behaviors.
So what are the lessons learned by watching the Super Nanny with a trained eye?
~If you use time-out remember the ‘spot’ where you put your kids won’t change their behavior. In order to see permanent behavior changes in your kids don’t talk, look at or touch your kids while facing them during oppositional behavior. And always tell your kids what a good job they have done calming down after the problem behavior is over.
~Don’t label your kids by telling them or yourself that their behavior is a deliberate, manipulative ploy to get control over you.
Coming Soon…You’ll be able to order Dr. Ann’s Discipline Plan on-line!