It’s So Tempting to Spank…Times Are Tough!
These are hard times. Parents stress levels are at an all time high.
Kids feel this tension. Feeling helpless when you cannot keep your kids from acting out or you cannot pay your is normal. Using your body to express how you feel at any age is also normal. Because when you move, you feel better.
But, hitting your kids to get them to stop their behavior may work for the moment, but it will never change their behavior. When you’re at your wit’s end please do move to make yourself feel better about whatever bad situation you are in, but make sure it’s healthy movement. Dance more, run more, walk more, listen to music more and goof-around more!
There are tons of evidence-based reasons why spanking doesn’t work. Here are just a few:
• Study of over 3,000 children where corporal punishment was used the results were kids cheated more, lied more, bullied more, had no conscience about misbehavior, were more deliberately oppositional to their parents and had trouble getting along with their teachers.
• 1,112 kids 4-11 years in the National Survey of Families & Households discovered that regardless of age, race or gender kids that were spanked had increased antisocial behavior and fighting in school 5 years later.
• 1,519 adolescents boys studied showed that if they were hit, as younger children they were much more likely to hit their parents in adolescence.
• A five year study showed that boys who were hit where more likely to physically assault their girlfriends in the following 5 years.
• Kids that had less corporal punishment from their parents had a greater probability having an above average cognitive growth; simply kids are smarter.
• Lastly, in 1998 the American Academy of Pediatrics published “Guidelines for Effective Discipline” that advises parents to avoid spanking because it NEVER changes behavior in their kids.
Not spanking your kids doesn’t mean you shouldn’t discipline them when they are out of line.
Just remember to touch your kids when they are acting the way you want them to! When your kids are not behaving that is not the time to touch them especially in a hurtful way. So look for ways to make physical contact with your kids when you see them being kind to others, listening to you, smiling, and cooperating.
All of us parents, myself included will get through this tough time together, Dr. Ann
HANG IN THERE, YOU ARE SO NOT ALONE!