Hi Dr. Ann

We are having a critical problem with Adam. He is having a problem in pre-school with hitting.

It seems to be more impulsive then mean spirited. His pre-school teacher seems at wits end. She told Debbie today that if it were up to her she wouldn’t let Adam go on to kindergarten. Adam does hit his sister, but the situation at school seem worse in proportion to home. Debbie and I plan to work harder with after the fact discipline at home.

What do you suggest we do. We want the behavior to stop. We don’t know what we would do if Adam was kicked out of school. I don’t want Adam to be on a constant time out at home either. HELP!!!!!!!!Sincerely,Exhausted PAPA….aka..Richard  

 P.S. Your sleep consult has been amazing…..3 straight years of no sleep …now…..with implementation, they are in bed on time….consistently.

Dr. Ann Corwin, The Parenting Doctor Advice

First of all hitting is a form of communication, not a good one, but none the less it lets kids know that they have in fact “connected” with another person.  So first and foremost you need to ’show’ him that when he uses this form of communication, all communication stops and I do not have a relationship at that moment with the person I hit. 

At home, when he hits immediately turn him around facing away from you, say NOTHING, and touch him as little as possible as you remove him from the situation.  Then do not allow him to come back to ‘play’ with his sister after the incident.  As his consequence is that he needs to ’stay away’ for a while.  this will teach your daughter that you, as parents, are going to protect her from hurt and teaches Adam that he gets nothing when he hits. No time or attention from anyone.

In order for me to help you in detail I think we need either a phone consultation or to talk in person.  So give me a call and we can set that up!  Hang in there,  Ann