Tantrums
What Dr. Ann Corwin, The Parenting Doctor, Has To Say About Tantrums
Tantrums have a purpose. Kids lose control in order to understand their bodies and brains better. They will exaggerate their movements and emotions in order to understand their sensory motor system. This helps them learn how far they can go and what it feels like to stop when they are done.
So what’s a parent to do when you’re out in the park or in the grocery store or even in the privacy of your home? Just remember these few rules of thumb.
If your child is not hurting themselves or anyone else just let them have the tantrum (ignore it). And, oh by the way, ignoring the tantrum doesn’t mean you say to your child, “Ok, just yell and scream and throw yourself on the floor and when you are done tell me or if you don’t stop soon we are NOT going to the park”. Because if you talk to, look at or touch your child DURING the tantrum it will keep the tantrum going and assure that it will happen again. Truly walk away, as long as your child is safe.
If they follow you or you are in public, immediately stop talking to them, turn them around with their back facing your chest and remove them. During the tantrum years, I know it may be a hassle but you should always have a stroller you can put them in, so they have a confined place to calm down.
They cannot calm down by themselves as that is why they lost it in the first place. So, be sure to give them their lovey to help them know they will be OK even though their parents are not paying attention to them right now.
MOST IMPORTANT PART OF TANTRUMS IS WHAT YOU DO AFTERWARDS.
Always look at your child, tell them what a good job they did stopping themselves and never talk about the ‘bad’ behavior afterwards, because then talking about losing control becomes one of the ways your child stays connected to you. In order to learn impulse control kids need to memorize what it feels like to stop and to learn that they get time and attention from their parents when they stop, not when they lose control.
Written on May 8, 2010 – 12:38 pm
Posted in Dr. Ann's Column, Dr. Ann's Place for Parents, Elementary School Years, First Year, Hitting, Kindergarten, Lying, Mean Girls, New Baby, Pacifiers, Thumbs, Fingers, Preparing For A New Baby, Preschool, Sharing, Sibling Rivalry, Sleeping, Sorting Out The SuperNanny, Talking Back, The Teen Years, Toddler Years, Toilet Trials, Whining
A recipe by: Ann Corwin, Ph.D.
Ingredients…
#1 Understanding how you were mothered.
#2 Deciding how you want to mother?
#3 Setting goals for your child’s scrapbook.
#4Teach your child all the lessons you wish you would have learned.
#5 Don’t be afraid to learn from your children.
#6 Comfort them with boundaries and limits.
[...]
Written on April 7, 2010 – 8:10 pm
Posted in Dr. Ann's Column, Dr. Ann's Place for Parents, Elementary School Years, First Year, Hitting, Kindergarten, Lying, Mean Girls, New Baby, Pacifiers, Thumbs, Fingers, Preparing For A New Baby, Preschool, Sharing, Sibling Rivalry, Sleeping, Sorting Out The SuperNanny, Talking Back, The Teen Years, Toddler Years, Toilet Trials, Whining
Get Answers from Dr. Ann at http://thestir.cafemom.com/toddler about Why the Super Nanny Doesn’t Help Parents and much, much more!
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Posted in Dr. Ann's Column, Dr. Ann's Place for Parents, Elementary School Years, First Year, Hitting, Kindergarten, Lying, Mean Girls, New Baby, Pacifiers, Thumbs, Fingers, Preparing For A New Baby, Preschool, Sharing, Sibling Rivalry, Sleeping, Sorting Out The SuperNanny, Talking Back, The Teen Years, Toddler Years, Toilet Trials, Whining
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Posted in Dr. Ann's Column, Dr. Ann's Place for Parents, Elementary School Years, First Year, Hitting, Kindergarten, Lying, Preschool, Sharing, Sibling Rivalry, Talking Back, Toddler Years, Whining
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Posted in Dr. Ann's Column, Dr. Ann's Place for Parents, Elementary School Years, Hitting, Kindergarten, Mean Girls, Preschool, Sorting Out The SuperNanny, Talking Back, Toddler Years
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Posted in Dr. Ann's Column, Dr. Ann's Place for Parents, Elementary School Years, First Year, Hitting, Kindergarten, Lying, Mean Girls, New Baby, Pacifiers, Thumbs, Fingers, Preparing For A New Baby, Preschool, Sharing, Sibling Rivalry, Sleeping, Sorting Out The SuperNanny, Talking Back, The Teen Years, Toddler Years, Toilet Trials, Whining
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Posted in Dr. Ann's Column, Dr. Ann's Place for Parents, Elementary School Years, First Year, Hitting, Kindergarten, Lying, Mean Girls, New Baby, Pacifiers, Thumbs, Fingers, Preparing For A New Baby, Preschool, Sharing, Sibling Rivalry, Sleeping, Sorting Out The SuperNanny, Talking Back, The Teen Years, Toddler Years, Toilet Trials, Whining
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Posted in Dr. Ann's Column, Dr. Ann's Place for Parents, Elementary School Years, First Year, Hitting, Kindergarten, Lying, Mean Girls, New Baby, Pacifiers, Thumbs, Fingers, Preparing For A New Baby, Preschool, Sharing, Sibling Rivalry, Sleeping, Sorting Out The SuperNanny, Talking Back, The Teen Years, Toddler Years, Toilet Trials, Whining
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Posted in Dr. Ann's Column, Dr. Ann's Place for Parents, Elementary School Years, First Year, Hitting, Kindergarten, Lying, Mean Girls, New Baby, Pacifiers, Thumbs, Fingers, Preparing For A New Baby, Preschool, Sharing, Sibling Rivalry, Sleeping, Sorting Out The SuperNanny, Talking Back, The Teen Years, Toddler Years, Toilet Trials, Whining
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