Here’s what Dr. Ann Corwin, The Parenting Doctor, has to say about Sibling Rivalry:

Where there are kids there is going to be conflict. Young kids don’t know how to share so grab everything they see just to check if it is theirs or not. While older kids are beginning to understand competition and what it means to ‘win’, get attention and make friends.

Always remember that even if one child starts the conflict, in order to keep the ‘fight’ going the other child has to participate.So the best solution is to remove the kids from each other immediately.

What that teaches the child who started it, is that if they fight, whatever they were doing and whoever they were playing with stops.

The message needs to be, “If you hurt with your words or body you don’t get to be with anyone”. After all, that’s what we do as adults, it is called a restraining order!

What this removal teaches the child who was hurt is that their parent will protect them by getting them away from the person who is hurting them.

After the rivalry is over, when the kids ask to play together again, the parent says no, because you hurt while playing earlier, so for now there is no play. This teaches both kids to have to ‘think’ before they get into it with each other, otherwise their play stops.

Then, most importantly, when you see them playing without conflict be sure to acknowledge that by moving closer to them with smiling eye contact or a light touch. Then in a quiet moment later, talk about their awesome play together and play with them both yourself because of it!