Sibling Rivalry
Here’s what Dr. Ann Corwin, The Parenting Doctor, has to say about Sibling Rivalry:
Where there are kids there is going to be conflict. Young kids don’t know how to share so grab everything they see just to check if it is theirs or not. While older kids are beginning to understand competition and what it means to ‘win’, get attention and make friends.
Always remember that even if one child starts the conflict, in order to keep the ‘fight’ going the other child has to participate.So the best solution is to remove the kids from each other immediately.
What that teaches the child who started it, is that if they fight, whatever they were doing and whoever they were playing with stops.
The message needs to be, “If you hurt with your words or body you don’t get to be with anyone”. After all, that’s what we do as adults, it is called a restraining order!
What this removal teaches the child who was hurt is that their parent will protect them by getting them away from the person who is hurting them.
After the rivalry is over, when the kids ask to play together again, the parent says no, because you hurt while playing earlier, so for now there is no play. This teaches both kids to have to ‘think’ before they get into it with each other, otherwise their play stops.
Then, most importantly, when you see them playing without conflict be sure to acknowledge that by moving closer to them with smiling eye contact or a light touch. Then in a quiet moment later, talk about their awesome play together and play with them both yourself because of it!
Written on January 7, 2010 – 9:00 pm
Posted in Dr. Ann's Column, Dr. Ann's Place for Parents, Elementary School Years, First Year, Hitting, Kindergarten, Lying, Mean Girls, New Baby, Pacifiers, Thumbs, Fingers, Preparing For A New Baby, Preschool, Sharing, Sleeping, Sorting Out The SuperNanny, Talking Back, Tantrums, The Teen Years, Toddler Years, Toilet Trials, Whining
January of any year is famously all about promises. At the beginning of the year we usually reflect on the last and resolve to change in the year ahead. Change is good, it means we are moving forward and not feeling so stuck. But, where I always get stuck is the ‘talking’ about change instead [...]
Written on December 9, 2009 – 10:17 pm
Posted in Dr. Ann's Column, Dr. Ann's Place for Parents, Elementary School Years, First Year, Hitting, Kindergarten, Lying, Preschool, Sharing, Talking Back, Tantrums, Toddler Years, Whining
I am sure you are already planning where you will be for the holidays, what to buy, what you will donate to others, what parties you will attend, who will be coming over to your house, what to eat for special holiday meals and the list goes on and on.
But, do you have a plan [...]
Written on October 31, 2009 – 2:56 pm
Posted in Dr. Ann's Column, Dr. Ann's Place for Parents, Elementary School Years, First Year, Hitting, Kindergarten, Lying, Mean Girls, New Baby, Pacifiers, Thumbs, Fingers, Preparing For A New Baby, Preschool, Sharing, Sleeping, Sorting Out The SuperNanny, Talking Back, Tantrums, The Teen Years, Toddler Years, Toilet Trials, Whining
www.parentsask.com is a new place to go on the Internet to get interesting, informative, and accurate parenting information. It’s a place for you to ask questions about your kids. You talk to other parents, get their opinions and suggestions for any issue you are facing in your family. You can post a question yourself, ask [...]
Written on July 17, 2009 – 10:38 pm
Posted in Dr. Ann's Column, Dr. Ann's Place for Parents, Elementary School Years, First Year, Hitting, Kindergarten, Lying, Mean Girls, New Baby, Pacifiers, Thumbs, Fingers, Preparing For A New Baby, Preschool, Sharing, Sleeping, Sorting Out The SuperNanny, Talking Back, Tantrums, The Teen Years, Toddler Years, Toilet Trials, Whining
Summer vacation… kids cannot wait and parents look forward to less structure and fun. But by the middle of July, the dreams of carefree summer fun seem to fade. Why?
Kids love to predict: they want to know what’s coming next so they can manage their behavior. Even though it sounds great to just relax, [...]
Written on June 28, 2009 – 11:44 pm
Posted in Dr. Ann's Column, Dr. Ann's Place for Parents, Elementary School Years, First Year, Hitting, Kindergarten, Lying, Mean Girls, New Baby, Pacifiers, Thumbs, Fingers, Preparing For A New Baby, Preschool, Sharing, Sleeping, Sorting Out The SuperNanny, Talking Back, Tantrums, The Teen Years, Toddler Years, Toilet Trials, Whining
Ever get up “on the wrong side of the bed” and don’t know why?
At one time or another just about everybody experiences not knowing why they feel the way they do. Kids get even more confused than parents do about their feelings. All kids behaviors are in response to some sort of feeling and most [...]
Written on June 11, 2009 – 12:13 am
Posted in Dr. Ann's Column, Dr. Ann's Place for Parents, Elementary School Years, First Year, Hitting, Kindergarten, Lying, Mean Girls, New Baby, Pacifiers, Thumbs, Fingers, Preparing For A New Baby, Preschool, Sharing, Sleeping, Sorting Out The SuperNanny, Talking Back, Tantrums, The Teen Years, Toddler Years, Toilet Trials, Whining
Fathers should be appreciated all year… not just on one day! While Father’s Day is a tremendous idea, we all need to affirm Dads for their significance every day of the year.
I come from a long line of fantastic fathering men. My grandfathers were both grand fathering me from birth to their deaths. My Dad, [...]
Written on May 8, 2009 – 9:46 pm
Posted in Dr. Ann's Column, Dr. Ann's Place for Parents, Elementary School Years, First Year, Hitting, Kindergarten, Lying, Mean Girls, New Baby, Pacifiers, Thumbs, Fingers, Preparing For A New Baby, Preschool, Sharing, Sleeping, Sorting Out The SuperNanny, Talking Back, Tantrums, Testimonials, The Teen Years, Toddler Years, Toilet Trials, Uncategorized, Whining
In celebration of Mother’s Day, I’d like to share a special poem with you that was given to me by a mom that I had been working with earlier this year. She was a new mommy having trouble adjusting to being a stay-at-home-mom after the birth of her second child. She came seeking guidelines in [...]
Written on April 22, 2009 – 2:17 am
Posted in Dr. Ann's Column, Dr. Ann's Place for Parents, Elementary School Years, Hitting, Kindergarten, Lying, Talking Back, Tantrums, The Teen Years, Toddler Years
No question 10 years ago and no question now that Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold were both severely mentally unstable teenagers. New perspectives on this horrifying tragedy are emerging. My only hope with any new information the parenting community does get is that all parents try to remember these three points:
#1 Learn what drives your [...]
Written on November 27, 2007 – 12:05 am
Posted in Dr. Ann's Place for Parents
Hi Ann,
I have a question for you for Wed. night May 3rd. I thought I’d describe it for you and you can help me narrow down what exactly my question is other than what should we do?? 7 yr old son, Shawn6 yr old daughter, Tess13 yr old Katie who is my husband’s daughter from his [...]
Written on November 26, 2007 – 10:18 pm
Posted in Dr. Ann's Place for Parents
Hi Dr. Ann
I dont know what to answer Idean, he keeps saying to me “you dont love me ” or “mommy dont love me”. I dont know what to say, its breaking my heart, please help.
Sandy
Dr. Ann Corwin, The Parenting Doctor Advice
Sandy,
Remember that Idean is experimenting with language, as he is trying to find out [...]
