Sharing
Here’s what Dr. Ann Corwin, The Parenting Doctor, has to say about Sharing:
WHY IS SHARING SO TOUGH?
Basically because a child’s job in the first two or three years of life is to figure out who they are and they do this by identifying what they own. And I mean this job is very serious stuff, like they feel as though they won’t get a paycheck or bonus if they don’t claim everything they see as MINE!
Remember to give your child something that is theirs and no one else gets to touch it. If they cannot manage to share, then remove them, but allow them to play with the toy that is exclusively theirs. We are not isolationists by nature, so kids might play for awhile with one thing but then shortly they want to go and play with others and other toys.
If two kids are in conflict over a toy and it is common property, then don’t say, “You had it first and then look at the other child and tell them they can have a toy after a certain amount of time, like 5 minutes”.
The reason this is not such a hot idea is that first of all these kids cannot tell time, so have no clue when they will get to play with the toy in question.
Secondly, if a toy is common property then everyone gets to touch it.
You know this happens all the time, so just grab the toy from both kids and say, “bye-bye toy”. Both kids will be disappointed, sad or mad as they watch you put the toy away. But, what they will learn is, if everyone doesn’t get to touch it, no one gets it.
Not sharing has nothing to do with being strong-willed or selfish or mean. It has everything to do with a child figuring who they are, so whenever your child does share, say, “great sharing” instead of telling them to share when they are not!
Written on May 8, 2010 – 12:38 pm
Posted in Dr. Ann's Column, Dr. Ann's Place for Parents, Elementary School Years, First Year, Hitting, Kindergarten, Lying, Mean Girls, New Baby, Pacifiers, Thumbs, Fingers, Preparing For A New Baby, Preschool, Sibling Rivalry, Sleeping, Sorting Out The SuperNanny, Talking Back, Tantrums, The Teen Years, Toddler Years, Toilet Trials, Whining
A recipe by: Ann Corwin, Ph.D.
Ingredients…
#1 Understanding how you were mothered.
#2 Deciding how you want to mother?
#3 Setting goals for your child’s scrapbook.
#4Teach your child all the lessons you wish you would have learned.
#5 Don’t be afraid to learn from your children.
#6 Comfort them with boundaries and limits.
[...]
Written on April 7, 2010 – 8:10 pm
Posted in Dr. Ann's Column, Dr. Ann's Place for Parents, Elementary School Years, First Year, Hitting, Kindergarten, Lying, Mean Girls, New Baby, Pacifiers, Thumbs, Fingers, Preparing For A New Baby, Preschool, Sibling Rivalry, Sleeping, Sorting Out The SuperNanny, Talking Back, Tantrums, The Teen Years, Toddler Years, Toilet Trials, Whining
Get Answers from Dr. Ann at http://thestir.cafemom.com/toddler about Why the Super Nanny Doesn’t Help Parents and much, much more!
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Posted in Dr. Ann's Column, Dr. Ann's Place for Parents, Elementary School Years, First Year, Hitting, Kindergarten, Lying, Mean Girls, New Baby, Pacifiers, Thumbs, Fingers, Preparing For A New Baby, Preschool, Sibling Rivalry, Sleeping, Sorting Out The SuperNanny, Talking Back, Tantrums, The Teen Years, Toddler Years, Toilet Trials, Whining
January of any year is famously all about promises. At the beginning of the year we usually reflect on the last and resolve to change in the year ahead. Change is good, it means we are moving forward and not feeling so stuck. But, where I always get stuck is the ‘talking’ about change instead [...]
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Posted in Dr. Ann's Column, Dr. Ann's Place for Parents, Elementary School Years, First Year, Hitting, Kindergarten, Lying, Preschool, Sibling Rivalry, Talking Back, Tantrums, Toddler Years, Whining
I am sure you are already planning where you will be for the holidays, what to buy, what you will donate to others, what parties you will attend, who will be coming over to your house, what to eat for special holiday meals and the list goes on and on.
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Posted in Dr. Ann's Column, Dr. Ann's Place for Parents, Elementary School Years, First Year, Hitting, Kindergarten, Lying, Mean Girls, New Baby, Pacifiers, Thumbs, Fingers, Preparing For A New Baby, Preschool, Sibling Rivalry, Sleeping, Sorting Out The SuperNanny, Talking Back, Tantrums, The Teen Years, Toddler Years, Toilet Trials, Whining
www.parentsask.com is a new place to go on the Internet to get interesting, informative, and accurate parenting information. It’s a place for you to ask questions about your kids. You talk to other parents, get their opinions and suggestions for any issue you are facing in your family. You can post a question yourself, ask [...]
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Posted in Dr. Ann's Column, Dr. Ann's Place for Parents, Elementary School Years, First Year, Hitting, Kindergarten, Lying, Mean Girls, New Baby, Pacifiers, Thumbs, Fingers, Preparing For A New Baby, Preschool, Sibling Rivalry, Sleeping, Sorting Out The SuperNanny, Talking Back, Tantrums, The Teen Years, Toddler Years, Toilet Trials, Whining
Summer vacation… kids cannot wait and parents look forward to less structure and fun. But by the middle of July, the dreams of carefree summer fun seem to fade. Why?
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Posted in Dr. Ann's Column, Dr. Ann's Place for Parents, Elementary School Years, First Year, Hitting, Kindergarten, Lying, Mean Girls, New Baby, Pacifiers, Thumbs, Fingers, Preparing For A New Baby, Preschool, Sibling Rivalry, Sleeping, Sorting Out The SuperNanny, Talking Back, Tantrums, The Teen Years, Toddler Years, Toilet Trials, Whining
Ever get up “on the wrong side of the bed” and don’t know why?
At one time or another just about everybody experiences not knowing why they feel the way they do. Kids get even more confused than parents do about their feelings. All kids behaviors are in response to some sort of feeling and most [...]
Written on June 11, 2009 – 12:13 am
Posted in Dr. Ann's Column, Dr. Ann's Place for Parents, Elementary School Years, First Year, Hitting, Kindergarten, Lying, Mean Girls, New Baby, Pacifiers, Thumbs, Fingers, Preparing For A New Baby, Preschool, Sibling Rivalry, Sleeping, Sorting Out The SuperNanny, Talking Back, Tantrums, The Teen Years, Toddler Years, Toilet Trials, Whining
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Posted in Dr. Ann's Column, Dr. Ann's Place for Parents, Elementary School Years, First Year, Hitting, Kindergarten, Lying, Mean Girls, New Baby, Pacifiers, Thumbs, Fingers, Preparing For A New Baby, Preschool, Sibling Rivalry, Sleeping, Sorting Out The SuperNanny, Talking Back, Tantrums, Testimonials, The Teen Years, Toddler Years, Toilet Trials, Uncategorized, Whining
In celebration of Mother’s Day, I’d like to share a special poem with you that was given to me by a mom that I had been working with earlier this year. She was a new mommy having trouble adjusting to being a stay-at-home-mom after the birth of her second child. She came seeking guidelines in [...]
Written on November 28, 2007 – 7:05 pm
Posted in Dr. Ann's Place for Parents, Preschool, Toddler Years
Dear Dr. Ann, I have a 3-year-old that will take toys out of other children’s hands, and cries if he doesn’t get to keep it. He seems to believe that all the toys are for his exclusive use only. How can I let him know that everyone can use toys?
– Saniyyah, Lancaster, CA
Dr. Ann Corwin, [...]
