Hitting
Here’s What Dr. Ann Corwin, The Parenting Doctor, Has To Say About Hitting
Hands are not meant for hitting, but when a child uses hitting to communicate they sure get their point across. And usually their point is being made by expressing an emotion they cannot identify in words. Like being mad, frustrated or disappointed in their situation.
Our first instinct as parents is to say “Don’t hit, that hurts, be gentle”. It is of course a logical response and explanation to us as parents. Parents then say to themselves, surely my child will get the point if I look at them and tell them immediately to cut it out, while explaining why they shouldn’t hit!
Even though as parents our hearts are in the right place, if we respond to our kids hitting communication by communicating back to them with eye contact and talking that is what keeps the hitting going. Because kids are learning how to develop a relationship with their parents through eye contact, touching and talking. So kids will continue to do any behavior that gets communication from their parents, even if it hitting.
SO WHAT’S A PARENT TO DO?
When your child hits treat it just like you would if someone hit you, immediately move away from your child by turning your child’s back to your chest, and don’t talk to them. That will stop communication immediately.
Finally, we’ve talked about how you stop hitting behavior, but how do you change it?
The only way to change hitting is by re-teaching your child what you do want them to do with their hands. So every time you see your kids use their hands appropriately, tell them. Say, “Hey, way to go, I love the way you are using your hands to eat your snack or wow, you know exactly how to wave bye-bye with your hands, yes, that is what you do with your hands.
So all your communication with your kids surrounds when they use their hands the way you want them to as a parent.
Written on May 8, 2009 – 9:46 pm
Posted in Dr. Ann's Column, Dr. Ann's Place for Parents, Elementary School Years, First Year, Kindergarten, Lying, Mean Girls, New Baby, Pacifiers, Thumbs, Fingers, Preparing For A New Baby, Preschool, Sharing, Sibling Rivalry, Sleeping, Sorting Out The SuperNanny, Talking Back, Tantrums, Testimonials, The Teen Years, Toddler Years, Toilet Trials, Uncategorized, Whining
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Written on April 22, 2009 – 2:17 am
Posted in Dr. Ann's Column, Dr. Ann's Place for Parents, Elementary School Years, Kindergarten, Lying, Sibling Rivalry, Talking Back, Tantrums, The Teen Years, Toddler Years
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Posted in Dr. Ann's Column, Dr. Ann's Place for Parents, Elementary School Years, First Year, Kindergarten, Preschool, Talking Back, Toddler Years, Uncategorized, Whining
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Dear Debi,
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